Sweeps = Stars

"I know one of us had their own personal stylist, and one of us shoplifts their shit from Fashion Bug..."

The Best of Kenny Powers from Danny McBride

And He's Funny To Boot

The Dana Carvey Show

:::Available on Hulu and out on DVD Tuesday, 1996's The Dana Carvey Show is a fantastic piece of irreverent sketch comedy that was unfortunately and lamely canceled after only seven episodes. With costars like Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell (pre-Daily Show) and producers like Robert Smigel and Louis C.K., this show could have been an insane smash if it was given a chance. What if NBC had canceled Late Night with Conan O'Brien when it was fledgling in the early '90s? Blasphemy! Well, if you're a comedy nerd like me and have always wondered what Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell (who auditioned and was beat out by Will Ferrell) would be like on Saturday Night Live, this show is for you. Personally, I think Dana Carvey never got the success he deserved post-SNL.

Fun Fact:::Robert Smigel's cartoon short "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" originated on this show before hitting SNL. I always wondered why Ace and Gary's voices were done by Colbert and Carell and not SNL cast members!

:::Check out this NYT article about just how ahead of its time the show was, and below for the pilot episode (and controversial Bill Clinton-nursing-puppies opening):

"You Know What Jew, You're Alright!"

Happy Mother's Day!

They Make Me Jizz In My Pants

....As If the Threads Were Woven by God Himself

:::The glorious creation of the wolf shirt is one of the most profound moments in history. A whole bunch of years ago, my former roommate and I discovered the magic behind these amazing pieces of art and the people who wear them. Even though I jokingly got one for her as a birthday gift, the biotch never wore it. Blasphemy! Anyway, my current roommate just sent me a link to an amazing Three Wolf Shirt being sold on Amazon, and the customer reviews are PRICELESS. I'm glad the resounding adoration of wolf shirts are so loud and clear. Read on for some personal accounts of life-changing, soul bearing experiences with the Three Wolf Shirt:

29 of 33 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Synergy, May 4, 2009 By Chaon (Taichung) - See all my reviews I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God. Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this) Yes No Report this | Permalink Comment

The Perfect Accessory, May 5, 2009 By Wesley C. Hatfield (Great Falls, Montana) - See all my reviews The manager at my local McDonald's refused to serve me when I entered shirtless in my buffalo-skin chaps and beaver pelt moccasins. I've since been searching to find the perfect top to go with my turquoise necklace and bolo tie. $35 bucks later, I can hold my head high as I wait for my Filet-O-Fish. Report this | Permalink Comment

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: Pure Fabulousness, May 5, 2009 By Brandon Patterson (Canada) - See all my reviews I purchased this shirt with the intention of giving it to my father. I knew he would feel it was fabulous and wear it with proud distinction. What I did not anticipate was the compelling gaze of Wolf #3. Upon opening the package I was instantly enraptured by its eyes and knew without a moment's doubt that my father could not have this t-shirt. It had to be mine. Fate mocked me, however, for the gift arrived on Father's Day and I had no choice but to give it to him. The anguish I was forced to endure was beyond the most savage of torments Hell could bestow upon the lowliest of mortals. What choice was I given? I murdered my father in a fit of jealous rage. I sometimes pay a prostitute to wear the t-shirt and visit me in prison just so I can look lovingly upon it. Report this | Permalink Comment

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful: Healing, May 5, 2009 By Christopher Parizo - See all my reviews I was born with a terrible deformity in my right hand - it is withered and rolled in on itself and useless. I ordered this shirt hoping that it would mend the hole that has grown in my soul over the years. When the package arrived, I opened it with my left hand and began to realize there was a strange tingling sensation in my right hand! Suddenly it rushed forth through my entire body. When it hit my head I saw God! When this sensation ended, I looked at my old, dead hand and, lo! and behold, it was still deformed. But the shirt fits really well. Report this | Permalink Comment

Chicks are DRAWN to this shirt!, May 5, 2009 By Jeremy Vories (the Blue Man Group) - See all my reviews You wouldn't believe the tail I pull in this f'n thing. Every male should invest in one. Report this | Permalink Comment

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful: Most Mag shirt of all time, May 5, 2009 By John Sherlock - See all my reviews My life has totally changed since the purchase of this shirt. My cousin/wife always told me that all we needed in life was a Lexus SUV, some hair gel, a gold chain, and designer clothes. However, she's only 9 so what does she know. I being a bit of hellion decided to break from my Irish Traveler roots. Once I put this shirt on I felt the raw power of the wolf travel through my veins. I've gained a new found confidence that has allowed me to defraud over 200 elderly couples in the past 6 months alone. I even get free biscuits at Red Lobster when I where this baby. Wolf shirts FTMFW IYAM! Report this | Permalink Comment

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful: Three Wolves = Man Juice power, May 5, 2009 By A. Sharp - See all my reviews I was skeptic on buying this shirt. Reading the reviews, whether fake or not, kinda put me on the fence about this particular shirt. Then I ordered the shirt. Received it today. Opened the package and a ray of golden light shined in my face in the form of 3 wolves howling at the moon. I instantly cried. I never cry. My dad was struck blind-deaf and stupid after an automobile accident that left him paralyzed, didn't cry when he died. My mom was taken from me when she went out for a pack of smokes in Bronx, didn't cry then either. But this shirt made me cry. The sheer magnitude of this awesome shirt makes me wanna cry. I put on the shirt and almost like a thunderbolt had struck my back, I felt empowered. Thats because the moment i put the shirt on, I was struck by lightening. I'm in the hospital now, the doctors recommend I take off my shirt to perform certain surgeries but I refused. If I go, my shirt goes too. Report this | Permalink Comment

I Stand Corrected

:::So back in July, I posted this about my excitement for the movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Well, thank the lord I didn't actually go see it in theaters and waste $15, because it is absolutely SHITEOUS. I highly recommend that you do NOT see this movie as it is horribly written, acted, and directed. The book was a smash hit, so I'm hoping the movie does not do it justice at all. And I had to audacity to compare it to The Devil Wears Prada!?!? Oh HELL no.

Zach Galifianakis

:::I loved this dude in What Happens in Vegas (and for some reason I loved that movie....don't judge me). And according to this NYT article, he's a scene-stealer in this summer's The Hangover, with my other faves Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper.

:::I didn't even realize it, but he was on the hilarious but short-lived Comedy Central improv show Dog Bites Man, which includes EVEN MORE of my faves: UCB founding member Matt Walsh, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon head writer A.D. Miles, and Andrea Savage from the uber-hilarious (and also short-lived) Bravo improv show Significant Others. Sorry, I'm getting lost on my little trip down TV-memory lane. Check out the trailer for the film below!

Bridge + Tunnel

:::No, not the tackiness that permeates the Meatpacking District on Saturday nights....the show. Those geniuses over at MTV have just greenlighted a show called Bridge & Tunnel, a coming-of-age reality show about nine Staten Island teens that's supposed to be the antithesis to Laguna Beach and The Hills. Ohhhh HELL. I think I speak for most when I say that NO ONE wants to see that ish. Not that I'm a hater, but Staten Island makes New Jersey look like the Hamptons. I mean, can you IMAGINE the Staten Island version of Heidi?!?! Woof.

Chic Speak:::Anita Pallenberg

:::I was truly meant to live in the '70s: Studio 54, luxe-rockstar-boho-chic, the birth of SNL....does it get any better?! Here's some delicious style inspiration from the lovely Anita Pallenberg, band-aid du jour.

Help Jimmy Reunite the Cast of SAVED BY THE BELL!

:::Late Night with Jimmy Fallon wants YOUR help in reuniting the cast of the greatest television show ever made....by humans. It's the 20th anniversary of Saved By The Bell, bitches! Click here to sign the petition and make history with Zack and the gang. GOOOO BAYSIDE!

Your Daily Hotness: Zac Efron Edition

....you're welcome.

Summer = Rooftops

:::Here's a rundown of the city's newest/hottest rooftops (and other outdoor spots) according to New York Mag:

The Sky Terrace
356 W. 58th St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-554-6303
Hudson Hotel's fifteenth-floor lounge isn't new, technically, although this summer the "hotel guests only" rule has been officially done away with. Now you have no excuses for not being here.
Open: Now!

d.b.a. Brooklyn
113 N. 7th St., Brooklyn; 718-218-6006
Back in January, when Grub Street mentioned d.b.a. Brooklyn's patio, it seemed like a far-off dream. Well, it's really here, folks.
Open: Now!

The Rooftop at Ravel
8-08 Queens Plaza South, Long Island City; 718-289-6101
A 6,500-square-foot roof deck at a new boutique hotel in Long Island City, of all places, featuring cabanas, frozen drinks, great views of the Queensboro Bridge, lamb sliders, a retractable roof, live D.J.'s, a movie theater, and shuttles from the nearby subways.
Open: May

The Second-Floor Bar at the Cooper Square Hotel
25 Cooper Sq., at Bowery; 212-475-5700
A 50-person terrace with a great view from the, yep, second floor.
Open: Second week of May

Der Schwarze Koelner
710 Fulton St., Fort Greene, Brooklyn; no phone yet
Another beer garden in a neighborhood that could use one (this time, Fort Greene). The German expat couple behind the operation let Clinton Hill Blog in on their plans, including the cheap Cologne beers (Weinstephaner, Schneider-Weisse) and food (sausages, currywurst) that will be available.
Open: June or July

Water Taxi Beach at Governors Island
Governors Island
Yes, you read correctly: Water Taxi Beach is expanding! The new Governors Island outpost (one of two new locations; see below) will feature beach volleyball, a café, an outdoor grill, a stage, and basketball courts. (Still no swimming, though we have a feeling you'll be able to overlook that.)
Open: July 4

Water Taxi Beach at South Street Seaport
19 Fulton St., at South St.
Good things continue to come in pairs. WTB's Manhattan location will boast a fish shack, a nine-hole miniature golf course, Ping-Pong tables, Skee Ball, and live music Thursday through Saturday nights.
Open: Memorial Day

Studio Square
35-33 36th St., Long Island City; 718-383-1001
And that's not all for the LIC. Joining Ravel's rooftop will be Studio Square, an 18,000-square-foot beer garden sporting graffiti, exposed brick, picnic tables, iron fire pits, a cobblestone courtyard, and a covered patio, and offering up housemade sangria and a menu of bratwurst and pulled-pork sandwiches.
Open: May